Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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