We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
