I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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