Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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