Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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