He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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