So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
