Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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