oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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