I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
