My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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