3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
