Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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