i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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