WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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