Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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