I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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