he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
