On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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