I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
