Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
