you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
