I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
