where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
