Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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