so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
