What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
