So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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