have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize