My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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