I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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