sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
