Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he was CRYING into my vagina
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
