dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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