if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
