At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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