take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
