but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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