singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Hippo gnu deer
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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