Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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