Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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