I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
