Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
