an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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