dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
