Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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