Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
