dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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