Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I FOUND THE LEGS
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
