my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
