It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
