Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Randomize
