My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
