yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
