yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
areolas are like halos for boobs.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
