I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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