he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
