She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
