he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
