And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
