can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
