From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize