Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
